Yesterday he enlisted....

So yesterday my Husband officially enlisted in the United States Army. He will be leaving January 8, 2009 and I am so scared that I am afraid if I think about it too much I won’t be able to refrain from bawling and showing him how truly scared I am. I don’t want him to know how much I am hurting inside. I don’t want him to know how terrified I am that I won’t be able to handle it. I keep telling myself “You can do this,” but deep down I don’t know if I really can. I am not talking about leaving him, because that would hurt even worse. But I am just so scared that I am going to lose my mind and have a break down and I can’t let him see that. I can’t let anyone see that right now. I know it would shatter him and make him change his mind which he can still do. It would completely crush him because this is what he wants to do, this is where he wants to take his life and who am I to tell him he can’t? It is not my place, I just need to not let him see my fear and pain. I know plenty of women go through this, I just know myself and I know I am going to lose it, but I don’t want to. I can’t let him see that I am even bothered because I know it will shatter his dreams and I don’t want to be held responsible for that. I am also terrified that this is going to take an almost perfect marriage and tear it to pieces. What is a girl to do? Her husband, the man she loves wants to go fight for his Country and leave her behind….and she doesn’t want to hold him back, but at the same time, she doesn’t know how to hold herself back from crying. I have 1 1/2 months left with the love of my life and I need to make them last.

This is a blog I start today to give an insight to those women who’s Husband/Fiance/Boyfriend is considering joining the Armed Forces, or for those men to get an insight as to what the special women in their lives will go thru if they decide to join. I want to document everything from the beginning, as someone new to the experience. Please feel free to read, and email me if you have any questions at all, or if you yourself have been thru this and have any advice for me. I will try to write at least once a week, but it could be more, or less. I look forward to hearing readers insights and maybe finding support in the comfort of others out there going thru the same thing I am facing today.